Alicia Dantzker
My social media: @adantzker
Current city, state, country: Kenwood, CA, USA
My profession: Biology Teacher
Describe your daily routine before the pandemic and during: Before the pandemic, I was driving to work 4-5 days a week from Berkeley to Palo Alto to teach 7th grade science. My husband, Michael, was usually the one who got up with our now 1 year old, Juniper. I left the house by 6:15 to teach an 8:20 class, and our nanny showed up at 8 so Michael could go to work as an Alameda County public defender. Every Thursday, Michael's brother came to babysit so we could go on a date alone. My mom took care of Junie on Wednesdays and usually a few hours each weekend. One or the other or both of us had plans most evenings to see friends.
I'm a little embarrassed to admit my current situation, actually. Michael, Junie, and I moved up to my mom's house in Sonoma with my sister and 3 of her friends. My quality of life is objectively better. I've eliminated my 3 hours of commuting. I see my baby and husband all day. I cook, I bake, I needlepoint. I exercise every day and am outside all the time. I love communal living. But I also feel totally overwhelmed at the same time. Like any parent, I bounce back and forth between being totally in love with and sick of my baby, but now that my separate work life is gone, it feels more intense and wildly variable. Kind of like this whole experience, actually. Sometimes, I look at the view from the porch here and think how incredibly lucky I am or how special it is to watch Junie learn and grow and change. And then sometimes I think about how my mom can't see her now or that I hate virtual teaching or that every plan ever is cancelled and that people are terrified and what is the world now or oh my god if this kid screams at me one more time I will scream back (actually, I have) and I'm just flattened. But to fully answer the question, our routine now is that Michael and I take turns getting up between 5:45-6:15 with the baby while the other one of us sleeps. Junie has breakfast with a parent and then when Amelia, one of our current roommates comes in, Junie crawls over expecting her daily portion of Amelia's oatmeal. She takes a nap around 8:30 and whoever's up has started napping with her in the back room.
I teach, then there's lunch/chores/cooking/group workout time. I do more teaching and then we often go for a walk, make dinner, put the baby to bed. Evenings have included puzzles, baking, pool, Top Chef, spades, Settlers, reading, work. Repeat. Days when Michael has to go in to work are tough and leave me totally exhausted. Amelia has been taking the group climbing in Napa on Fridays (appropriateness of which is hotly debated in the climbing community, apparently, but I'm just thrilled with the time outside). I threw an Easter egg hunt for the adults the other weekend. We had a lovely dinner for Junie's first birthday, which almost made me forget that so many people who love her couldn't be there. In closeup, it's a nice life, if you just keep your head down.
This pandemic makes me feel like: I am incredibly fortunate. FOMO has undermined a lot of my joy. The inequities of this country and this world are unacceptable.
This pandemic makes me think: We're a plague on the earth. (There are so many examples, but the one that struck me most was I saw that 55 blue whales have been spotted off of Georgia in the past month when there were only 1-2 other sightings in the past 40 years. We're not even ocean animals and we've gotten totally in the way of life there).
This pandemic makes me hope/pray for: This finally revealing how poorly our country works. People to see how a small class of rich people are robbing everyone. Political change. Universal healthcare. A safety net. De-carceration.
If I had Three Wishes:
1. People generally believed in an objective truth
2. People were capable of easy empathy with others unlike them and in situations unlike their own
3. The fantasy version of universal basic income where no one has to worry about their basic needs
What I think of the government’s response: Evil. Cruel. Idiotic. The natural extension of exactly who they've all shown themselves to be, so, I guess, honest?
Recommendations for TV shows, movies, books or podcasts: The only thing I've been able to consume from start to finish is Becoming by Michelle Obama which was great.
Before this pandemic, my plans for the next 6 months were: Go on my first post-baby trip alone with Michael to Mexico City, ski a lot, finish out my 5th and final year at my school, backpack, take a family trip to the Azores to see where my grandmother's family emigrated from, start a new job a few blocks from my house.
Predictions for when this will get better/end: Maybe we get to see people again in June? Life returns to normal in 2021.
What I have in my fridge/freezer and pantry: Homemade garlic chili oil, 6 minute eggs, ramen, frozen chocolate chip cookies, chocolate chip banana bread, oatmeal, lots of fruit, pre-assembled but undressed salad to throw leftovers on for lunch. If you're in the Bay, frozen half baked Cheeseboard/Nabolom/Arizmendi pizza.
Ways I’m coping: Exercise, lots of walking outside, asking for help with the baby, really being okay with no structured mealtimes for her.
Creative things to do with kids: Our number one go to is playing outside. She stays entertained on her own way longer.
General advice/thoughts/anxieties to share with others: As a teacher, I can tell you that whatever they manage to learn now is fine, even if it's nothing. They need to feel safe and loved, and everything else is just icing.