Guybe Slangen
Current city, state, country: Oakland, CA, USA
My profession: School Administrator
Describe your daily routine before the pandemic and during: We're working on structure and connection as best we can. I've been exercising more actually, getting up to run a few miles so I can both get outside and avoid most people. Daughter gets up at 8ish, school begins at 9 as does my work, I guess. My partner works at a hospital so she's still physically going to work. Our daughter is pretty self motivated (thankfully!), so I try to check in and she seems to be on task and engaged. We try to have some virtual play dates with her friends, and keep her connected socially. For me, I'm in and out of online meetings throughout the day, trying to sort through the newness and uncertainties, and support folks in their work as best I can. I try to get outside with our daughter in the afternoons and head to a nearby park to shoot some hoops, if there are some free courts available, which thankfully there have been. We're slowly settling into this, and admittedly our daughter is more adaptable and better at it than we are. (She turned 9 last Monday and we hosted a Zoom birthday party. Strange days indeed).
This pandemic makes me feel like: From one minute to the next I can go from anxious to grateful to confused to hopeful to frustrated back to confused to inspired. I'm all over the place these days, but I strive to be my best self as a partner, a parent, and as a professional. Easier said than done, but important now more than ever I feel. But during challenging times it's amazing to see how people and communities come together to support, help, and care for one another, especially those in need. From singing Italian neighborhoods to applauding Chicago apartment complexes, and from DIY mask donations to companies pivoting to create needed products, there are some beautiful examples of people helping, and creating and sustaining community from a distance. This crisis has brought out the best in us, and it's powerful to witness and be a part of. It makes me feel more hopeful, inspired, and connected to my fellow humans. As I read in the NYT recently, “In this time of collective stress, … a reminder that “contagion is real, but it doesn’t just work for viruses. It works for kind words and generous thoughts, and acts of selflessness and honesty.” #kindnessiscontagious :)
This pandemic makes me think: Part of my morning ritual for a while has been to listen to The Daily Stoic podcast (https://dailystoic.com/podcast/) as a way to start my day, and to help ground and guide me in both my personal and professional life. Now, though, when I listen I feel like the messages and lessons are weightier, and have more meaning, impact, and relevance. The ancient notion they have been lifting up a lot lately is, “We don't control how the world works. We do, however, control how we respond.” I've been thinking a lot about this during these crazy, uncertain times we're in. There's so much that I can't control, so I shouldn't worry about that, and focus rather on what I can control. It's liberating in some respects, and is a helpful reminder, guide, and motivator.
Also, I've been thinking about it a lot about what matters most in life, and this really resonates with me (courtesy of Farnam Street) "We've aged a generation in the past three weeks. What matters has sharply come into focus. Family matters. Love matters. Kindness matters. Health matters. Generosity matters. People matter. Community matters. The rest is just noise. Aside from physical distancing, the biggest thing you can right now is choose to see the best in each other. Be kind. Be patient. Be tolerant. Be quick to help out in anyway you can. Be forgiving when you would otherwise be upset. See things through the eyes of others and try understand where they are coming from. Seek out opportunities for generosity. Reconnect with your community. Reconnect with yourself. Reconnect with your priorities. Live them. We're all in this together."
This pandemic makes me hope/pray for: I hope that when this is all over we don't forget how this made us refocus on what is most important in life and how we got through it all, together. I hope that we don't forget how we looked beyond our differences and helped each other, regardless of class, race, religion, party, citizenship, ideology, and myriad of identities that we hold on to and we allow to divide us. I hope that we don't forget that we truly saw each other as humans, and lead with kindness. I hope that we don't forget that these difficult, dark, unbelievably challenging times brought out the best in each of us.
If I had Three Wishes: 1. We take care of our most vulnerable, during this and after this. 2. Our president listens to experts. 3. When this passes, we keep the kindness going.
What I think of the government’s response: Local and state government has been great, making informed, thoughtful decisions with the greater good in mind. Federal government (aka: Trump) is making things worse. But his approval rating went up today (3/27/20), so there you have it.
Before this pandemic, my plans for the next 6 months were: Take a vacation this summer with my family to camp in Northern California (hope that still happens, but looking unlikely).
Predictions for when this will get better/end: Hopefully sooner rather than later?
What I have in my fridge/freezer and pantry: Beer in the fridge. Large cocktail ice cubes in the freezer. (I think there's a theme here?)
Ways I’m coping: Exercise outside when I can. Be a better dad. Writing down daily what I'm grateful for. Reconnecting with old friends and family. Appreciating my amazing partner, my colleagues. Growing a "Stay-At-Home-Stache" and playing guitar. Trying to meditate (but not that great at it.... yet).
Creative things to do with kids: Make butter: heavy whipping cream, a jar with a lid, a marble, add salt if you wish, and shake it until done. Boom!
General advice/thoughts/anxieties to share with others: I am trying to put these questions into my daily practice (courtesy of the Greater Good Science Center): Daily Quarantine Questions....
1. What are you GRATEFUL for today? 2. Who am I CHECKING IN on or CONNECTING WITH today? 3. What expectations of "normal" am I LETTING GO of today? 4. How am I GETTING OUTSIDE today? 5. How am I MOVING MY BODY today? 6. What BEAUTY am I either creating, curating, or inviting in today?