Melisa Olgun

My social media: @melisaolgun

Current city, state, country: West Babylon, NY, USA

My profession: Student. Hopeful Grad Student.

Describe your daily routine before the pandemic and during: Before the pandemic, I would wake up in my senior wood frame. I would consider going to the gym, and then perhaps go to the gym. I lived in a house with five incredible housemates; often, when I would walk into the kitchen to make my morning coffee, Clara would be sitting at the table. We would reflect on our remaining days at Wesleyan and share some time over breakfast. I would get ready and run out the front door to get to class. Life on campus was hectic: I would run from home to class, from class to work, from work to my thesis carrel, from thesis carrel to class; the list goes on and on. Not a moment was left unscheduled. Lunch was often quick: either I would run home or I'd meet with a friend and go to Swings and get lunch. Often, I'd proclaim that it would be a "working lunch," but 90% of the lunch would be talking, sharing stories and the remaining 10% would be pretending to do work. I would grab some more coffee, and continue my day: classes, work, attempt to write my thesis. Dinner, studying, attempts to write my thesis. I would eventually walk home at 10 or 11, tired from the day, ready to cool down. I would sit in the living room with my housemates, we crowded in our small shared space. We'd drink tea as we finished our last readings. I'm exhausted, and I would slowly head to my bed. Wake up, repeat. The cadence never ends.

The pandemic has removed the immediacy of my day. No longer do I consider going to the gym, no longer do I rush out of my house to get to my class, no longer do I calculate the line at Pi Cafe to see if I could grab a coffee without being late for class. I wake up at haphazard times, especially because my earliest morning obligation is 10:50. I'll make some coffee and consider changing my clothes. Often, I stay in my pajamas. The distance from my bed to school is around two feet. I stay at the computer all day, taking classes, writing my thesis, and trying to reconnect with my friends. I eat dinner with my family quickly and return to my desk to finish work. Eventually, I get tired enough and watch some TikTok before going to bed.

This pandemic makes me feel like: I am in this strange juxtaposition because I'm still in school. I know I shouldn't care about classes, but I still feel ambient stress that I should still do my homework, still study for my classes, and still participate in class. Outside, there's a global pandemic –– the world is quite literally on fire –– but I have to somehow pretend that I can be a normal student. It's frustrating at best, infuriating at worst. Life isn't normal, and I shouldn't have to treat it as such. But I somehow need to keep going.

This pandemic makes me think: We are truly seeing how broken the world is. I've lived through this brokenness all my life -- I'm a first-gen, low-income student, daughter of two immigrants -- and so this helplessness isn't new to me. I think about the times where I would discuss huge revolutionary moments of history with my peers in class, and I now realize that I am right in the middle of a historical movement. COVID-19 is much bigger than I am, and its both terrifying but also weirdly comforting to know that.

This pandemic makes me hope/pray for: I hope that the world we re-enter is more equal, where we have opened our eyes to how capitalism/the government/insert-noun-here wasn't made for the average person. I hope that we stand up against the injustices that these institutions have placed on us and demand better.

If I had Three Wishes: (1) That the poor and homeless will have permanent food & shelter. (2) That when we get out of this I save enough money to travel the world and not feel guilty about using some of my savings to travel (3) That we realize what is actually important in life: family, friends, experiences

What I think of the government’s response: I've been angry at the government for quite some time now, but their response to COVID-19 is especially infuriating. The blatant disregard for science is actually killing people and I'm not sure what to do.

Recommendations for TV shows, movies, books or podcasts: I've watched a lot of Bon Appetit on YouTube and pretend I'll be recreating those dishes.

Before this pandemic, my plans for the next 6 months were: I had a prototypic liberal arts student plan: submit my thesis, graduate, and start working. Before this pandemic, I had applied to MD-PhD programs and was planning to apply again in the next cycle. Both my thesis (and now, funnily enough, the pandemic) has made me reconsider how best I can be an advocate for those who are marginalized. So now I'm thinking about applying to law school. The great thing is that I have plenty of time to figure that out.

I was also planning to go back to Turkey to see my family and go to my cousin's wedding in July, and was planning to revisit my favorite parts of the country, and not being able to go is truly the worst.

Predictions for when this will get better/end: I wish I could say soon, but considering the way that the government is handling social distancing, I'm thinking that we'll be dealing with this until the fall. Hopefully I'm wrong.

What I have in my fridge/freezer and pantry: Middle Eastern food essentially relies on rice and chickpeas, a combination that I could likely live off of for quite some time. Otherwise, lots of flour; my family group chat has turned into a competition of who can make the best pastries and dishes.

Ways I’m coping: I've found a strange groundedness with my thesis. Before the pandemic, my thesis was a source of extreme stress, and now it's one of the few things that's keeping me sane. I spent a few hours today trying to figure out EndNote, and normally that would be a chore that I'd detest. Now, it's something that keeps me present. Writing and finishing up this nearly year-long project has given me a sense of purpose throughout all of this.

General advice/thoughts/anxieties to share with others: I've finally started going on night-time walks with my family and I've been thinking about how I know where everyone is at night. We're all in this together. It's definitely a weird moment for humanity –– and we're definitely going to have to collectively unpack this in the future –– but at least we're all in this weird space together.